17 Febvreuary 2003, 12:30 p.m.

Les Conneries de Riatsale

back & forth

[Note from the editor: this is much funnier if you read it aloud in an OUTRAZHEOUS FRONCHE ACCENT, you know?]

Tragédie Anarcho-balletique en trois entr'actes

Par M de Nopsmoth, mucker-out of the Grand-Ecurie du Roy

Ouverture

Grave

Gayement

Menuet

Prologue

Enter BOREAS, clad in a white snowsuit with a platinum breastplate and pink moon boots. He is accompanied by the FRESH SNOW and the ICICLES. Entrée of BOREAS and his followers.

BOREAS

Today, my children, I reign in my snowing ;
Today, my followers, all the world owns my sway,
Though I sway none but with my icy fartings.
I grey the great elms and wash the sky clean
Like strong bleach that has been added to a load of dark colors.
But O hélas ! that I am weary;
Dance now, gentle minions, that I might be refreshèd !

Contredanse for the Fresh Snow Sarabande grave for the Icicles Entrée of the Winds

An Icicle

What a marvellous day to stay home and drink Keemun
To make de la soupe for La Sierra,
To listen to Haydn string quartets
And listen to Jean-Paul Fouchecourt's Airs-de-cour recital.

Chœur des Icicles

Ah ! Quel plaisir ! Quelle paresse incontournable !
Nous sommes ravis de votre bénévolAnce!

Air pour les followers des Winds
Bourrée Ivre pour les pisseurs-dans-le-vent
BOREAS flies off in his chariot to the sound of thunder.

END OF FIRST TEXTE-ACTE