May 23, 2002, 5:42 p.m.

liement me deport

back & forth

All. Dilatory. Sorry. Orange (cat). It is sleeping on the cord that runs up into my CD burner (EP knows what that means). Listening to: Le si�cle du Titien, a musical portrait of sixteenth-century Venice by Ensemble Doulce M�moire. I tried to write earlier today, but there were too many schoolchildren at my window, and you know how they creep me out. Drinking: Magic Hat #9, strangely, since it's what ED bought. My life only gets more circular and self-referential; eventually it'll all spiral down into a point. I will turn from a fox into a hedgehog.

I went goth-clubbing with SLB despite a general edict we issued in the twenty-second year of our reign. The actual club-going experience is almost always displeasing to me, what with the music (I intended to list about twenty things off, but I really can't quite get past how awful the music is. It was Moz's birthday and CE didn't even play a single track, which makes me quivery-furious). EJT was there, looking mortified. Although he was considerably more mature last night than previously: he mostly ignored me, and only stalked out of the room once. Dude played me like a glass harmonica. Shudder. After the clubbing, SLB and I were somehow on the pavement talking to D and E. At some point, we serenaded an industrial boy in a Johnny the Homicidal Maniac t-shirt, and then there was a group hug. (Where did linearity go? I used to know something about that.) Current project: cleaning my room and as a treat when that's done I want to make a diorama of a stage set or a historical scene or something.

Met SLB's dad (he was in town for her Hoodulation by Granulate School). He looks and talks and dresses kind of like Bruce Vilanch (although everybody else says he looks like Jerry Garcia, which really pisses him off). For an old hippie, he has totally imperial taste in champagne. His personal setting of the rumble between Vita Activa and Vita Contemplativa is this: "I used to do protests. But sometime during the summer of 1969, I had the choice between going to some activist thing or else eating acid and swimming with some girls. And there's no choice there."

Still reading: Mme du Deffand's letters. Started a Tanizaki novel last night which I think I fell in love with, but it's too soon to say, I was awfully tired at the time. My fortune-cookie fortune from Tuesday night was "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Sez you and whose army?